Tamara Jolly, Malawi
27 May 2010
The Difference a Cake Can Make - Tamara Jolly explores the
friendships formed, the experiences shared and the lessons we can
all learn from the humble cake.
The Difference a Cake Can Make
I arrived in Malawi in August of 2006 to live and work at SOS
children's village in Lilongwe. My role was to provide assessment
and therapy for children with a wide variety of disabilities, while
also training local rehabilitation staff to continue my role and
together develop resources to ensure the sustainability of the
program. Without any speech pathologists in a country of 13 million
people and high rates of complex disabilities among children across
the nation who have little access to rehabilitation services, it
became clear that I wouldn't be bored.
Instantly falling in love with the warm heart of Africa and its
people, the adventure of a lifetime began. I had many grand ideas
and hopes and plans of what I would see, learn, share and achieve,
as do all volunteers, it's the glue that sticks us together with a
desire to make a difference. So it makes me smile now as I reflect
upon these past few years as I would never have imagined that out
of everything I had experienced, making hundreds of cakes would be
one of my biggest achievements. One of the greatest lessons I
learned, was how to cook a cake!
My first cake in Malawi was a momentous occasion, Although
rather than celebrate my fantastic chocolate cake I broke down in
tears realizing how alone I was without anyone to share my cake. So
with a hot steaming chocolate cake in hand and tears streaming down
my face I ventured outside in the warm Malawi night and stood
outside hoping to find someone to eat with. It didn't take long to
find people and the cake quickly disappeared. That night I made a
decision to take a risk and make myself vulnerable. I couldn't
become a part of the community by staying in my house and eating a
cake alone. I started making many more cakes, each time finding
someone new to share the cake with, and so began my cake
adventures.
What started as a simple hobby to fill the many long evenings,
soon became a cake making frenzy with up to 9 cakes being made some
weeks. The cake became a catalyst. I learnt that cakes are great
ways to encourage attendance at meetings. Birthday cakes built
friendships, they made celebrations special and created
opportunities to meet with people, and break down barriers. Cooking
sessions became fun gatherings to share recipes and most
importantly share life with people, whom I had previously very
little in common with.
The lessons I learnt are far less about the cake itself, and far
more about what the action symbolized for me in my community, in
achieving my project goals and for developing life long
friendships.
Firstly. no recipe is required. The rules are different and so
are the ingredients. A recipe that works in Australia, should not
be depended upon. This is true of both cake making and completing
goals in your workplace. It takes creativity, flexibility and
patience to make the best "cake", whatever that may be. Secondly,
the simple strategies are often the best. While a fancy gluten
free, low GI, almond and orange poppy seed cake may be your
preferred selection at home, such complexity may not be
appreciated. Not only will the ingredients be hard to locate or of
questionable quality, it may not be what people want, or need. How
easily we complicate our lives, and how easily we as volunteers can
complicate our jobs by trying to replicate things that we have seen
work in Australia, often without first watching, listening and
learning from the locals who often know best. Sometimes the most
simple strategies are the most powerful. The enjoyment rarely came
from the flavor of the cake, but always from the enjoyment and the
celebration of sharing in each others company.
Some people can live for years in Australian culture without
ever knowing their neighbours much less ever take them a freshly
baked cake for no reason at all. Becoming a part of the community,
developing lasting friendships and making cakes were the foundation
for the successes that followed in my project. Regardless of the
difference in culture, language or lifestyle, doing something kind
and thoughtful for another person is universal and crosses all of
these barriers.
Creating an environment where I could sit and chat and laugh and
indulge in abundant quantities of chocolate cake may just be a far
greater legacy than many of the "tasks" I achieved, as it was
through the friendships formed that I had the privilege to
encourage people, through the conversations that these moments
created that we could plan and motivate one another, and that will
hopefully contribute to the sustainability of those tasks achieved
by the friendships and community that was formed.
It's not all about the cake, its about the principal. For every
person there may be something different to do, but there will
always be something that will create a connection and opportunities
to build friendships. Its crazy not to take the chance!
"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big
difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which,
over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee."
- Marian Wright Edelman
by Tamara Jolly